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Holidays Can Be Hard When Family Isn't What You Hoped For

Hey… can I just sit with you for a moment?

I know the holidays are supposed to be bright and cheerful. Lights, music, laughter—everyone smiling around the dinner table. But maybe… for you, it doesn’t feel like that. Maybe your family isn’t around. Maybe your home wasn’t the kind you dreamed of growing up. Or maybe there’s been a falling out, and it left a hole you don’t quite know how to fill.

If that’s you… it’s okay. Really. It’s okay to feel sad. It’s okay to feel lonely. It’s okay if the season feels heavy instead of magical.

Sometimes, we scroll through social media, seeing everyone else’s “perfect” holiday moments. And suddenly, our chest tightens. We feel… envy. Or guilt. Or even shame, like maybe we’re doing it wrong. But here’s the truth: missing family, longing for connection, feeling left out… those feelings are real. They’re valid. And they deserve your attention—not your judgment.

If your family is fractured, or if you’ve had a falling out, the holidays can feel like a mirror showing all the things that aren’t there. And yeah… that hurts. It’s okay to admit it. You might feel like you have to celebrate anyway, like you’re failing if it doesn’t feel joyful. But listen to me—you are not failing. Your worth isn’t measured by who’s sitting at your table. Your worth isn’t measured by anyone but you. You are whole. You are enough. Even if your family story isn’t perfect.

So… what can you do when the holidays feel heavy? Start small. Tiny steps.

Maybe it’s making your favorite meal just for yourself. Maybe it’s lighting a candle for someone you’ve lost. Maybe it’s putting on music that makes your heart feel lighter, or taking a walk and noticing the little things—like snow on a branch, or the crisp winter air on your cheeks. You don’t have to do what anyone else expects. You get to create your own little moments.

And… it’s okay to lean on people who aren’t “family” by blood. Friends, mentors, neighbors… sometimes they become the family your heart needs. That’s not a replacement. It’s a gift. And reaching out—even in small ways—can spark connection that feels huge inside.

Most importantly… be gentle with yourself. Emotions might swing—joy one moment, sadness the next. That’s okay. That’s human. Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a dear friend. Maybe write yourself a note. Whisper a little encouragement in your ear: “I see you. I hear you. You’re okay.”

The holidays don’t have to be perfect. And your family doesn’t have to be perfect. What matters is honoring your own heart. Grieve if you need to. Laugh if it comes. Find joy in the little things—even if it doesn’t come from the people you thought it would.

If you feel lonely, reach out in some small way. Text a friend. Volunteer. Attend a community event. Even a tiny spark of connection can light up your heart in ways you might not expect.

Remember this: the holidays are just a few weeks. But your heart, your feelings—they’re with you every day. So be gentle. Be kind. And know this—you are not alone, even when it feels that way.

This season… I hope you find peace in the quiet moments, courage in the hard ones, and a gentle reminder that you are enough. That you are loved. That you are seen. And that your beautiful mind—your heart—deserves care, especially from yourself.

-Your Beautiful Mind

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