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When You're Trying To Heal... But Life Keeps Throwing Shit at You Anyway

Hey love.

Let’s talk about the absolute circus that is “trying to work on yourself while the universe throws emotional dodgeballs at your head.”

Because listen…
Healing is hard enough on its own.
But healing while being a parent, a stressed-out adult, a student, someone dealing with mental illness, or someone trying to keep their life from collapsing?
That’s basically Olympic-level emotional athletics.

Like, imagine me — a 23-year-old single mom of three — sitting on my floor trying to journal or meditate or “regulate my nervous system,” and suddenly my brain is like:

“Actually… what if you cried about everything all at once instead?”

Or the kids start fighting.
Or my phone rings.
Or court calls.
Or my trauma decides to kick me in the back of the head for fun.

And I’m like,
“Wow. Healing is such a peaceful journey,”
while actively sweating and trying not to scream into a pillow.

But I know I’m not alone.

Men feel this too.

Trying to break old habits, be better dads, better partners, better humans — but still battling their own demons that nobody ever taught them how to deal with.

Teens feel this too.

Trying to grow up, figure themselves out, keep their grades up, fight their internal darkness, AND pretend everything is fine on social media.

Moms and dads feel it.

Trying to raise kids while healing their own inner child is like trying to fix a car while driving it.

Anyone with mental health struggles feels it.

Healing isn’t some magical straight line.
It’s a chaotic mix of progress, breakdowns, breakthroughs, mistakes, emotional plot twists, and “what the fuck is happening?” moments.

And if you're dealing with the justice system?

You’re trying to prove yourself, stay stable, get shit together, and show growth while also battling anxiety and stress that could power a small city.

Healing is messy.
Like… “laundry mountain you avoid for three weeks” messy.

But here’s the part you don’t hear enough:

You’re allowed to heal imperfectly.

You’re allowed to heal…

  • while crying
  • while confused
  • while angry
  • while fucking up
  • while taking breaks
  • while being scared
  • while raising kids
  • while dealing with court
  • while broke
  • while exhausted
  • while in therapy
  • while NOT in therapy
  • while trying to change
  • while still learning how to not self-destruct

Healing doesn’t require a perfect version of you.
It just requires the version of you that keeps trying.

Even if that version is tired as hell.

🧠 Weekly Mental Health Exercise: The “Small Wins” List

This week I want you to try something ridiculously simple:

Every time you do something — ANYTHING — that is good for you, your kids, your life, or your future…

write it down.

Examples:

  • “I got out of bed even though I didn’t want to.”
  • “I didn’t snap when I was overwhelmed.”
  • “I apologized when I was wrong.”
  • “I made a healthy choice.”
  • “I asked for help.”
  • “I did something scary.”
  • “I didn’t give up today.”

At the end of the week, read the list.

You’ll realize something powerful:

You are healing —
even on the days it doesn’t feel like it.

💬 Interactive Question of the Week

Comment below:

What’s one thing you did this week — even if it was tiny — that you’re proud of yourself for?

Everyone can relate to this one — parents, non-parents, teens, guys, girls, everyone.
Let’s hype each other up.

Before You Go…

Healing is not pretty.
Healing is not linear.
Healing is not quiet.
Healing is not magical.

But healing is happening — inside you — even when you feel like a disaster.

You’re growing every single time you choose better, even if it’s just a little.
You’re rewriting your story with every hard decision, every tough day, every small win.

And even if no one else says it:

I’m proud of you.
You’re doing hard things.
You’re becoming someone future-you will thank.

Keep going.
Slowly, messily, imperfectly — but keep going.

—The Healing Chaos
“Healing doesn’t ask you to be perfect — it only asks you to be honest.”

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