Skip to main content

Why I Keep Talking About The Things That Hurt

Sometimes I wonder why I keep coming back to the same subjects. Why I keep writing about the darkness, the fear, the nights that don’t end, the thoughts I wish I didn’t have. It would be easier to move on, to pretend I’ve healed, to only talk about the parts of my life that look hopeful and put-together.


But the truth is, I’m still figuring it out too.


I talk about pain like I understand it, like I’ve learned how to live beside it without letting it swallow me. I tell people it gets easier. I tell them they’re not alone. And I believe those things — I really do — even on the days when I struggle to believe them for myself.


There’s a strange contradiction in trying to help others while you’re still hurting. I can give advice I haven’t mastered yet. I can offer comfort I’m still searching for. I can tell someone else how to keep going, even when I feel like I’m barely holding myself together. That doesn’t make the words untrue — it just makes me human.


I think a lot of us do this. We talk about our pain not because we’re stuck in it, but because we know how isolating it feels. We remember what it was like to think no one else could possibly understand. And maybe, by saying it out loud, by putting it into words, we can make that loneliness feel a little less heavy for someone else.


I don’t write about these things because I’ve conquered them. I write about them because they’re still part of me. Because pretending they don’t exist doesn’t make them disappear. Because honesty, even when it’s uncomfortable, feels better than silence.


If even one person reads this and feels a little less alone — if someone realizes their thoughts don’t make them broken or weak — then it’s worth being this open. It’s worth admitting that I’m still figuring it out, still healing, still learning how to live with the parts of myself that hurt.


Maybe that’s the point of sharing at all. Not to prove that we’re okay, but to remind each other that we don’t have to be okay all the time to be worthy of being heard.


-The Healing Chaos

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

When the Weight Starts To Feel Too Heavy

Hey.... I've been sitting here staring at this blank screen for longer than I want to admit. It's funny - well, not funny - but strange, how I can feel so full of thoughts and yet have no idea how to begin putting any of them into words. My mind feels like a room filled with laundry piles I keep meaning to fold, but every time I turn around, more clothes are thrown aside. Eventually you stop trying to organize them, and you just sit in the middle of the mess, hoping no one opens the door.  That's kind of where I'm at right now.  Sitting in the middle of the mess.  Tired. Overwhelmed. A little bit numb. and very, very human.  The truth is... Life has been really rough lately. I mean the kind of rough that makes you wake up already exhausted, like you ran a marathon in your sleep.  The kind where your chest feels tight for no clear reason, and every day you're just trying to convince yourself you're fine enough to function. I've been moving on autopilot - resp...

You Are Not Too Much — You’re Carrying A Lot

If you’re reading this, I want you to pause for just a moment. Unclench your jaw. Drop your shoulders. Take one slow breath in—and let it out gently. You don’t need to be strong here. I know how easy it is to believe you’re “too much.” Too emotional. Too sensitive. Too intense. Too broken. Too complicated. Especially if you’ve spent your life being misunderstood, dismissed, or told that your pain makes other people uncomfortable. But I need you to hear this clearly: You are not too much. You are someone who has been through a lot. There is a difference. When you’ve lived through trauma, your nervous system learns to protect you in ways that don’t always look pretty. When you live with mental illness, your brain processes the world differently—not wrong, just differently. When you’ve had to survive instead of being cared for, your reactions make sense, even if others don’t understand them yet. Nothing about that makes you unlovable. Healing is not a straight line. S...

Borderline Is Loving Like a Wound and Being Punished For Bleeding

Living with Borderline Personality Disorder feels like being born without skin. Everything touches you too hard. Everything hurts deeper than it should. Everything matters more than you want it to. And then people look at you and ask why you’re “so dramatic,” why you “overreact,” why you “can’t just calm down.” As if you wouldn’t give anything to feel less. BPD isn’t a personality flaw. It’s not being manipulative. It’s not being toxic for fun. It’s not attention-seeking. It’s a nervous system that learned, very early on, that love is unstable and abandonment is inevitable. It’s what happens when attachment and trauma collide and set up permanent residence in your chest. It’s loving like your life depends on it—because somewhere deep inside, it always has. People love to describe BPD from the outside. Mood swings. Fear of abandonment. Intense relationships. Impulsivity. Emotional dysregulation. Cool. Clinical. Neat. That tells you absolutely nothing about what it’s li...